Author Archives: Asmodeus aka DingleDorf

The Annoying People List (Part 1)

Annoying people span through every facet of life, whether it be the kids screaming at you through your console headset, or the mothers of the hellions an aisle over from you in the store. They are everywhere and there doesn’t seem to be a cure coming anytime soon.

Here is MY list of the top types of annoying people that we tolerate here on planet earth.

1. The Wall: This type of person can be found standing 2 inches behind you in line at the supermarket. I’m not sure if they’re just trying to figure out what type of shampoo you use, or if they are just trying to cop a feel. Regardless, BACK THE F*%# UP DUDE!

2. The Big Baby: Usually a woman, but not limited to any specific gender. This person can be found talking baby talk to anyone or thing they perceive as “cute”. While some young Big Babies can function in normal society, a mature Big Baby has problems carrying a normal conversation without including baby talk, pet names, and/or cheek pinching.

3.  Smiley: This person has a smile that never dissipates, and as a result this person will more than likely have you wondering what the hells so funny half of the time. While the other half is spent deciding if they were dropped on their head as a child.

4. The Non-Believer: This person can be the hardest to get rid of on the list, and thus can be a dangerous individual. That combined with the fact that the Non-Believer rarely falls into a single Annoyer archetype makes this Yo-Yo a dangerous companion. Frustration for this one usually stems from the fact that this contributor doesn’t believe you when told abruptly how annoying they really are. The ineffectiveness of this person’s brain to grasp the words that are coming out of your mouth can lead to an amusing cycle, which is why this inductee lands so high on the list… Call it replay value.

5. The Early Bird: This wonderful addition to society has taken the saying, “The early bird gets the worm” too literal. This ass hole can usually be found outside your window with a LOUD piece of  hardware at the first sight of the sun. This person usually has some type of the Non-Believer in their beings as well. That being the case, the only way to thwart these “Annoyers” is either a Louisville Slugger, or a loaded 12 Gauge (slamming the window and yelling will not be rid of these unique shit stains on humankind, believe me… I’ve tried).

6. The Yes Man: I know what you’re thinking and, yes, I hate the pricks that are constantly agreeing with you too.. BUT the Yes Man I’m referring too is a little more dense. This is the person who answers rhetorical questions. Is that really necessary? Do you even understand the meaning of rhetorical? Why were you born? AHHHH STOP ANSWERING ME!

7. The Public Tutor: This specific inductee can be very invasive. Signs that a Public Tutor are in your vicinity are shifty looks over the shoulder, quick movement of stance, and a foul stench. Be aware! A Public Tutor will be very quick to pin blame on those around them… (I swear it wasn’t me!)

Feel free to post some of your least favorite form of human life in the comments! Some of the best replies will be featured in the second part of the list coming soon to a local NoF blog near you!

Fueled by and contributed to by your local morons! Oh deem and yogi too!

The Dark Side of Nipplelandia

After a quick editorial intervention, and a subsequent strike via IRC I have decided that this family friendly blog needs a little… what shall we call it? MOAR BOOBIES!

We are the NIPPLES of fate after all.

Before you judge me, LOOK CLOSELY.

Now that we got that out of our system, and before you call the elders on me… I ask you to look closely at the image.

This here is an example of optical tom foolery, and a great one at that. The image which appears to be of a naked women standing amidst a group of fully clothed “normal” folk, is actually a perfectly normal scene. The “fake body” is actually from the arm of the lady standing in front.

So before you scream tits or gtfo, remember Asmo loves you!


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 57 other followers

%d bloggers like this: